9/30 Influential

#9: List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.

1. Jesus Christ. He loved the "unlovable", He died to save all sinners, He loves us and forgives us daily. 
2. My grandma Smith. She fought cancer for years. She was the glue that held the Smith family together. She was remarkable in every way. 
3.  My dad. He's got a past. So what? He chose to learn from it, grow, and is an amazing man. 
4. My sister. She's brilliant. She's funny. She's the best big sister I could have had. 
5. The Schmeeckle family. Specifically Todd and Deb. They've devoted their lives to serving. They're so giving and loving and wonderful that I can't help but want more time spent with them all the time. Deb has been a combination of a mother, sister and friend to me, and I value her opinion and thoughts more than she realizes. 
6. Pastor Jake and Penny. I was completely stubborn and resistant to the idea of letting these two close to me, letting them in my life, after all, who were they to me? They didn't need to know me or my life, I knew best, right? Letting them in, and having two AMAZING people, two Christ focused, Godly people who can lovingly guide and correct me? God knew what He was doing bringing them to Calvary when He did! 
7. Grace. I've known Grace for years, but only in the last two years have I gotten to know her better. She has such an amazing heart and passion to serve. She's opened my eyes to the plight of special needs children all over the world. She's encouraged me to dig deeper into my faith and let God lead me. She is a wonderful friend and she oozes Jesus :) 
8. Travis, he has a past, just like I do. We've both messed up. We both sin, we both suck. Travis reminds me constantly that even though the world sees that, God doesn't. God sees us as perfect. He loves us unconditionally and that's how Travis has loved me. Travis has influenced me in our relationship. He's helped me to learn to let go of some control and let him take lead. He's also causing me to dig deeper in my own relationship with Christ. 
9. Trevor. I know, he's 5, but he's influenced me a great deal. I obviously wouldn't be who I am today without Trevor in my life. He's my heart and teaches me how to always have fun. 
10. Samantha, she reminds me to have fun in life. She's been my best friend and has been there for so much, she's also taught me about what it means to be a true friend. 

I'm blessed to know some amazing people and I know God has them in my life for a reason. 

8/30 Passions

#8: What are 5 passions  you have?

• Youth. I completely believe that we are responsible for teaching the next generation, do we want them to be lazy, complacent, greedy and obese with no beliefs no faith no hope? Or do we teach them about God's love and grace, teach them hard work and obedience, teach them to give, to share, to be healthy and loving and compassionate?
• God- I'm passionate about Him. I want to strive to never get comfortable and complacent in faith. I want to constantly be in this cycle of growth and solidification in my faith and relationship with God. 
• Serving- Look around. There are people everywhere, around the world, across the country, in your own community, they're sick, they're poor, they're hungry, they're broken. They don't know God's grace and mercy. They don't have hope. They don't know that there are people in this world that care about them, that love them. They've been taught by our society that they're worthless. BUT they aren't worthless, not to God, not to me! I love them. I want to help, I want to be that disciple of Christ. 
• Outdoors. All of God's creation is wonderful. I love to marvel in the majestic beauty of it. Running barefoot through the grass, hiking through the woods, rock climbing, swimming, etc. 
• My son. I'm passionate about his life. He's remarkable. I can't even put into words how much pride and love and commitment I have to this sweet little boy. 

7/30 Dream Job

#7 What is your dream job, and why?

My dream job for many years has been to open my own Lutheran summer camp. I spent 5 summers working at Camp Luther in Schuyler NE and those summers were some of the most amazing I've had. I want to serve God in whatever I do, I love the outdoors, I love teaching. What better way to serve than at a camp that teaches children about God's love and get to have fun in mother nature!?!

6/30 Hardest Experience

#6 What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?

This is tough, because there are several situations from my past that were extremely difficult and have consequences that affect me to this very day. BUT, those things are in the past. They don't affect me emotionally anymore.

I think the hardest thing, but also one of the most rewarding is being a parent. It's an ongoing struggle. You're constantly having to change methods to whatever phase your child is in at the moment, but also be consistent and disciplined with them. You're screamed at, kicked, hit, bitten, you're told that they hate you, that you're mean, that they don't want to live with you anymore. It breaks your heart. But it's all worth it when you hear them laugh, see them smile, see them accomplish something on their own, hear them say "i love you mommy", feel their arms around you as they give you a hug and a kiss.

5/30: Happiness

#5:  What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?

1. God. Always. There's something about prayer and scripture and that time alone with God that gives me a peace and calm and joyfulness. I know that no matter what mistakes I make, He loves me, He forgives, and I am still His dearly loved child. 
2. Trevor. My son has this spark of life, and faith that is astounding. He has a love for others even people he's never met that is remarkable. He sees God in everything. He recognizes God's creations for what they are, beautiful. My friend is adopting this little girl from a terrible orphanage in Eastern Europe and I knew my heart was breaking for the children there, but I had no idea that it impacted my 5 year old son until one day when he said "Mom, I wish we could bring all those kids home with us, they don't know that Jesus loves them and I love them too. I pray for them, that they would get a brother who loves them like I do, and a mom who would sing to them like you do to me"
3. The Calvary Youth. Seriously these are talented, faithful, wonderful youth and every time I'm with them, they surprise me and teach me so much. 
4. Singing. Always singing. Music in general just makes everything that much better. 
5. Family and Friends. Specifically my Calvary community. It's just this amazing group of individuals. I thank God for the support He's placed in my life. 

4/30: Letter to myself

List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could:

1. Read your Bible. Life's instructions are in there. Pray. God can get you through anything.
2. Do not shut down emotionally or bottle things up inside. It only ends up causing you to be depressed with the weight of a few lifetimes on your shoulders or lashing out. 
3. Set boundaries. Stay strong. Just because other people are doing things does not mean you have to- people will like you for you. Protect yourself at parties. Don't let other people get your drinks, don't impair yourself to the point where you cannot even think for yourself or fight back if needed. 
4. Alcoholism runs in the family. Slow down, partying is not a solution to life's stresses. 
5. Do not be afraid of your pregnancy. Yes, you're young, but God will get you through it. Don't let the weight of that one negative decision affect your opinion of God or yourself. God loves you and forgives you, forgive yourself. 
6. Be nicer to your sister. She ends up being your best friend. She is unconditionally loving and selfless when it comes to you and your son in the future, she deserves better from us. 
7. Take everything your family says, listen, do not immediately shut down if it's not what you want to hear, even if you disagree be respectful in explaining your disagreements. 
8. Stay in school. Its so much harder to go back later in life- no time ever seems quite right. When you're in school in Minnesota, pay attention, buy your books, do the work. Study, turn in all assignments. Don't skip. It will pay off later. 
9. Enjoy the small things, football games with friends, singing in the praise team, youth group, etc. Don't take it for granted. 
10. Stop judging everyone. We are not perfect, we will never be perfect and our history is certainly flawed. Take into consideration that other people's lives may have more to it than what we see on the surface. Love others. 

3/30 Parents

Since I skipped a few days, I'm going to make those posts up to you!

#3: Describe your relationship with your parents.

The relationship with my dad is simple. He and I have been close for as long as I can remember. I'm daddy's little girl and he's one of the first people I ever call when I need to vent, need advice, a shoulder to cry on, etc. He is loving, supportive, and a great father. He doesn't spoil or coddle me. He taught me from a young age that you get what you earn. He instilled a hard work ethic in me. I've also inherited his stubbornness, his people skills, his learn from your mistakes (but you have to make the mistakes yourself to learn) attitude, and his looks.

The relationship with my mother is a whole different story. It's fairly non-existent. After a series of events my senior year of high school and freshmen year of college, I chose to eliminate her from my life. At the time it was not healthy for me to continue the relationship we had. It was angry, filled with lies and deceit and betrayal. It was filled with arguments and  yelling and cursing. There was nitpicking, blaming, and a fierce desire to prove the other wrong. It just was not healthy at all. As time has gone on, I've learned to forgive mistakes made in the past, learn from them, and while I still do not desire anything more than a cordial relationship on holidays, I am allowing her the opportunity to have a relationship with my son.